Sex for Aging Men and Women

Sex is not just for the young. It is for all ages. Sex at middle age, is subjected a lot of misinformation and confusion. Typically, Indian women might associate sex after certain age as a sin. However, there are greater health benefits for both men and women having sex after 50.


As men age they take longer time to achieve an erection, have a less firm or rigid erection, are less likely to ejaculate prematurely, and, take longer time to be physically ready to have sex again.

Andropause: There is gradual decrease in testosterone in men once they hit 50s. This leads to physical effects like

  • lack of energy
  • lower sex drive
  • decreasing strength and endurance
  • mood changes
  • erections that are less strong

Testosterone replacement therapy is available to help to restore testosterone, but it has its side effects (can lead to prostate cancer grow). However, testosterone should be administered only after evaluating the current testosterone level in the body.

Low sex drive

This is common for both men and women due to decrease in hormone levels. However, you can keep your sex life alive by making time for it. Talk with your partner about the changes you are going. Make more time for foreplay like enjoy a warm bath together, try out different approaches that allow you to get excited and enjoy each other. Once you reach orgasm, it takes longer time to be physically active again. Don’t push yourself too much. Men have firmer erections when they have regular sex.


Medicines for diabetes or hypertension (high BP) usually interfere with your sexual life. Other factors also contribute to reducing desire including relationship problems, stress, and depression. It is always better to talk to a doctor. If you are not having erection, instead of directly using a Viagra it is advisable to consult a doctor.

Other common concern is erectile dysfunction. ED may not be directly because of the age but other diseases that may come with age can cause ED. It can also be a side effect of certain medications, or drinking too much alcohol or smoking.

How to tackle

Keep a healthy lifestyle:

  • Exercise regularly
  • Eat well
  • Reduce alcohol consumption and quit smoking

Other alternatives to help you to maintain erections are penis ring (an elastic ring is slipped over the base of the erect penis to maintain the erection until ejaculation), vacuum devices, injections, or implants in extreme cases.


Although older women may become aroused more slowly than younger ones. As women age, their bodies change and so do their sexual organs.

Menopause and Lubrication

After 50, there is less production of estrogen, which may affect sexual activity. The vagina becomes less elastic, takes longer to get aroused and lubricate. This makes intercourse less comfortable or even painful. Some women even avoid sex because they find it less pleasurable than before. Use lubrication. There are other ways to make entry smooth and enjoyable:

Few lubricants are available which are made specially for older women. These come in gels and suppositories, and should be applied liberally to the vagina just before sex.

Focus on foreplay. As a couple, spending more time on foreplay helps the couple to become more excited and interested in sex. The more you have sex that includes vaginal penetration, the easier it is for you to maintain lubrication and elasticity.

Moisturize yourself. Vaginal moisturizers also help increase vaginal moisture and elasticity. Have sex more often.

Hormone therapy

Hormone therapy (Local estrogen) applied into the vagina enhances blood flow to the vagina and helps in improving sensation and lubrication with minimal risk during longer term treatment. However, there are side effect associated with hormone therapy. You should consult a gynecologist before. Estrogen is administered in 3 ways:

  • Vaginal ring: a small ring that releases the correct amount of estrogen for optimal vaginal health. The ring is inserted high into the vagina and is left in place for three months .
  • Tablet: a small estrogen tablet that is inserted into the vagina twice weekly.
  • Cream: Conjugated estrogen cream which is inserted with a small applicator twice weekly

Low libido

As previously discussed decrease in desire is attributed to hormonal changes, and other factors, such as depression, stress, fatigue or the use of some medications (for example some high-blood pressure medications and some anti-depressants). Sex might take a little bit more effort and commitment, from the both of you, that doesn’t mean it’s any less pleasurable.

Body image

Some women are not comfortable with the way their bodies are aging. They may feel that their new wrinkles, grey hairs, or weight gain make them unattractive. This will have an effect on their ability to seek out and enjoy intimacy. If you are struggling with your self-image, remember that your vitality, sensuality and desire to love don’t fade as the years progress. Passion, about yourself and your partner, is still an important part of your life. And passion, about yourself, your partner and your life, begets passion. Being attractive and sensual does not fade with age, it just changes.

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